There's a great used bookstore around the corner from my place in North Hollywood that has a huge pile of random books for $2. It's normally filled with "Idiot's Guides to..." and Steve Guttenberg autobiographies, but during my last visit, I stumbled upon this oddity:
I've never considered being a soldier or administering first aid to one, but out of curiosity I cracked this to see what was inside. I'm glad I did, because the instructional drawings within allowed me to create a fantastic new game the whole family can play.
FIRST AID OR GAY PORN?
Whatever this is, it's passionate.
Not entirely sure what the medical benefits are here.
This one's called the "tickle hump."
Time to get some buddies involved.
Whether they're saving his life or having sex with him, you'd think they'd be a little more excited about it.
Now things are getting freaky.
They say the best way to resuscitate a man is by nibbling on his ear lobe.
Whether this is first aid or a sexual move, it should be administered with a "Shhh..." sound and followed shortly thereafter with an "Mmmmm...." noise.
I know a lot of people are upset with the idea of homosexuals serving in the military, but let's be honest -- the military was already a kinda gay place.